Talking to Strangers: Why Every Founder Must Learn to Listen
When Yasmin came up with the idea for a sustainable skincare brand, the momentum was intoxicating.
Driven by frustration with the "greenwashing" rampant in the beauty industry, she moved at lightning speed. Within a weekend, she had a minimalist logo, sample packaging ordered from a Berlin supplier, and a sleek landing page.
The initial feedback was a dopamine hit. Friends loved the concept. Her first Instagram post racked up 117 likes. The brand felt real. It looked real.
But two weeks later, the momentum hit a wall. Yasmin froze.
She realized she had a product, a mission, and a logo, but she didn’t know who she was selling to. Was her customer a Gen Z student browsing TikTok, or a corporate professional in her late 20s? Were they buying "sustainability," or were they buying status? Would they pay £12 for a cleanser? £18?
Yasmin had fallen into the most common trap in the startup world: She had built with ambition before she had built with understanding.
She hadn’t spoken to a single paying customer. To fix it, she had to do the one thing most early-stage founders are terrified to do: she started talking to strangers.
And that is when her real business began.
The "Build Trap": Why We Avoid Reality
Yasmin isn't alone. Across the Entreprenerds community—and the global startup ecosystem—thousands of talented founders are building solutions in a vacuum.
We build because it feels productive. We build because coding, designing, and planning feel like "work," whereas walking up to a stranger feels like a risk. We build to impress investors or because "that's what startups do."
But very few founders stop to ask the uncomfortable questions:
"Do you actually need this?"
"How do you solve this problem right now?"
"What would make your life easier?"
This is the domain of Primary Market Research (PMR). It is the most overlooked superpower in entrepreneurship, and it is the only bridge between a fantasy and a viable business.
PMR is a Conversation, Not a Checkbox
When most founders hear "Market Research," they imagine a PDF from McKinsey, a pie chart, or a Google Form sent to their friends' WhatsApp group.
Real PMR is none of those things. It is not a step on a checklist to be completed and filed away.
At Entreprenerds, we define PMR as a pattern of behavior. It is the foundation of Gate 2: Who is Your Customer? It is the specific discipline of moving from assumption to evidence.
The Pivot: What Yasmin Learned
Let’s go back to Yasmin. With a borrowed clipboard and shaky confidence, she stood outside a college café. She didn't pitch her product. She didn't show her logo. She simply asked:
"Hey, quick question - how do you normally choose your skincare stuff?"
The results were transformative.
Price was relative: People didn't mind paying more, but only if the perceived quality was high.
Loyalty is messy: People were loyal to brands they trusted, even if those brands weren't sustainable.
The "V" Word: "Vegan" meant nothing to them unless it came with credible proof.
The Real Insight: Most importantly, she learned that people wanted skincare to feel like a ritual, not just a routine.
None of these insights came from her 117 Instagram likes. They came from human beings telling the truth.
Why Discomfort is Your Best Friend
If PMR is so valuable, why do we avoid it?
Because it’s awkward. It’s exposing. It opens you up to the possibility that your "baby"—your brilliant idea—might be ugly.
You might hear that:
Your idea is "nice to have," but not necessary.
People have already solved the problem with a spreadsheet or a notebook.
Nobody wants another app on their phone.
This discomfort is a gift.
Every objection you hear during PMR is a bullet dodged. It is time saved. It is capital preserved. PMR doesn’t slow you down; it saves you from spending six months building a product that nobody wants.
The 5 Conversations Rule
If you are in the first six months of building, you do not need a 1,000-person survey. You need five honest conversations.
Here is the framework:
The First Conversation tests your basic assumptions.
The Second Conversation reveals what they are currently using (your competitors).
The Third Conversation exposes their decision-making process.
The Fourth Conversation gives you their vocabulary (which becomes your marketing copy).
The Fifth Conversation changes your thinking.
After five deep interviews, you will rarely be in the same place you started. You will have pivoted, refined, or validated your path.
How to Interview Like a Founder (Not a Student)
This isn't an academic exercise. This is a hunt for truth. To get valuable data, you must avoid the "Pitch Mode."
The Golden Rules of PMR:
Don't Pitch, Ask: If you start by selling your idea, people will lie to you to be polite.
Don't Survey, Observe: Surveys tell you what people think they do. Interviews tell you what they actually do.
Dig for Emotion: You aren't looking for feature requests; you are looking for pain, frustration, and joy.
The Right Questions to Ask
Avoid "Would you buy this?" (The answer is always a polite lie). Instead, ask:
"What is the hardest part about [Problem X]?"
"Walk me through the last time you tried to solve this."
"How much time/money are you currently spending on this?"
Bias Will Try to Sabotage You
Watch out for the usual suspects:
Confirmation bias – seeing what you want to see.
Selection bias – talking only to people like you.
Social desirability bias – people being polite instead of honest.
The IKEA effect – overvaluing your own idea because you built it.
Great founders are self-aware researchers. They bring other people into the interview process. They compare notes. They reflect. They iterate.
PMR is a Practice, Not a Phase
You don’t "finish" PMR. Even after you pass Gate 2, you keep listening. You return to it when you launch a new feature, when churn increases, or when a big customer says "no."
Startups are not about products, code, or logos. They are about people.
